My Return

I have been gone for a very long time, I realize, and I am sorry for that. I just needed some time and space to clear my head, mainly due to the fact that I broke things off with my fiance'. It's been a while now, and I truly have had no second thoughts. I simply regret that he seems to be quite upset now, despite a lack of emotion at the time.

I have felt more like myself since then, and have been focusing more on my art and writing! Right now I am working on two of six novel plots, one of which I have completed fourteen chapters. I am rather excited, because I feel that these stories and characters have a real chance at going somewhere.

I am happy, and I cannot recall the last time I could say that. I have even started dating again, here and there. Being single, and somewhat new to this dating thing (I haven't been single since I was fifteen, and my ex is the only one I really dated), it's thrown me some curveballs, but I am slowly adapting. The only unfortunate thing is that school has started rather abruptly, and I would much rather summer go on....which reminds me, I'll have to write a blog just about my summer, the first I have truly been able to enjoy in years.

Happiness

I am happy. If only you knew how the past two years had been, you would understand just how major an accomplishment that is. I have had so many stressors, mainly involving family and now-former friends, and unemployment. Those stressors effected my relationships, my physical and emotional health, and at one point, my school performance.

I have never had trouble in school, but certain familial and friend-related issues caused me to have a poor result in two classes one semester, but I have gotten my grades back up and found out that I can graduate with my first degree as soon as December or Spring. true it’s from a small college, but I do have plans to go on to get my degrees in Social Work and Psychology from one of the universities that first accepted me when I graduated at sixteen (an age I truly didn't feel prepared to go off to school alone, so at 17 a small college seemed the best bet, and I met some of the best people, friends, and instructors here).

Familial issues have calmed a great deal, and the friends who caused me so much stress, I no longer call friends. I got job that just so happens to be my dream, and so far, I love it. I have good hours (so far), love the kids, and like most of the people I am working with. Also, if I become a full-timer they will pay up to 90% of my tuition to the college of my choice, which is a awesome.

I am writing again, and while I am on hiatus from the novel I have been working on for ions, I have a few other projects in mind, one of which I hope I can finish by fall, and pursue publishing. Becoming published is one of my major dreams, and on my list of things to do before I die (again, lol). I am also doing more with my art, up cycling, crafting, making jewelry, painting, photography, etc. For a while, I was just so stressed and blah about everything that art went on the back burner.

I am reading again! I love to read beyond all else, and growing up I always went around with a book and a spare (or two). Now I am reading. I’m also trying new things, and even retrying things that I hated before, such as “How I Met Your Mother” and other books and movies. Some, I still hate, others I now love.

I see the beauty, the fun, the vibrancy in life again. I never completely lost my outlook on life, but my rose colored glasses were getting a bit foggy. The other night at work, I watched a brilliant storm. I LOVE storms, but in the last few months, I can’t remember taking the time to watch one.

True, Fox and I have been going through a rocky patch, but we both know that it’s all been rooted in all the stress. We’re working through it, and the happier I become, the less dissatisfied I feel with things between us. I guess the stress and anger made me more nitpicky and sensitive.

The car Gershom gave me Valentine’s Day before last (while old) is running beautifully, and now just needs a water pump. I love having my own wheels =] I am going out more with friends, having more fun, and I truly feel like skipping or doing a little dance. The latter might be a little bit frightening since I am severely rhythmically challenged and would like a demented Chui Wawa on speed.
This is my blessing list, I suppose and it’s growing. Thank you God for restoring my life and happiness =]