Today mom, B, and I took O clothes shopping. My ever-funny and frighteningly intelligent youngest sister bounced over to the wrack of "training bras,"* becoming the latest victim of our over-sexualized society. Okay, we all know the history of bras. That wacky Frenchman thought of yet another way to torture us females, because high heels obviously weren't enough. I must admit they have their benefits, but why would anyone with a training "cup" (it's a tiny 2" by 2" triangle that is not the least bit cupped)? What exactly are they keeping in place? And what the hell is a training bra, anyway? Do they teach the girls to do tricks? If so, mine are stunted and sadly untalented.
I don't understand girls who are excited, enthralled, and exuberant (yes, I exhausted my 'E' vocabulary with that) about certain developments. The first instantly means you are no longer "one of the guys," your IQ instantly goes down if they're any big than a "training cup," some people will try to have full conversations with them, and jumping jacks become your enemy. I mean who likes getting smacked in the face 200 times?
The second means Eve has an excuse to kick your ass every month, and if you don't like the torture devices commonly referred to as tampons, you have to go around wearing something that is about as comfortable as a diaper for a week. If that doesn't make you cringe, trying cramping, which is not only in the stomach region, mind you. Guys swear you have mood swings when they're just stupid enough to stand between you and the chocolate, or utter "PMS." Bah! Permissable Manslaughter.
I myself was the person who defined "tomboy." Sure I had long blonde hair past my waist (it darkened naturally), and occasionally played with Barbies, but that is beside the point. I was respected by the infamous Big Kids, and was wild...okay, stupid. I took any dare, even if it meant jumping in a field with an angry bull. Admittedly, not my brightest moment. How I made it to age 8 is beyond me, because I can think of at least nine times that I could have, possibly should have, died. I remember clearly when those damn changes started, I was furious, especially with mom. She fixed everything else, why couldn't she fix that? I eventually got used to the changes, and don't mind them so much now, expect the second one--I'll never get used to Eve's ass kicking, which puts Chuck Norris' infamous roundhouse to shame.
Disclaimer: I do understand that bust size is a touchy topic for many women, but this was not directed at you ladies, but more the 3 year olds wearing undergarments akin to things I might find at Victoria's Secret.
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5 comments:
i completely understand where you're coming from. I never had "training bras" so much as I had modesty tops. hah. My mother didn't see that there was any point in buying something she could pretty much make, but she relented when I told her about how the girls used to tease me during PE for not having a bra, so she bought me a few sports bras. I HATED them. and I HATED HATED HATED getting my period. I was so upset and angry. I didn't get my first real bra until I Was a b-cup, which was only a month or two after I got my monthly friend! ugh. They've not stopped growing since!! But, I have to admit, it did get pretty easier once there was actually something to actually put in the bra! lol.
I know! I had some of those modesty tops myself. I was homeschooled so I didn't have the peer pressure issue, unless you count a couple female cousins bragging about their bras (completely boggled my mind since I thought puberty was a punishment, lol).
I still hate getting my period! At first it didn't really bother me much. I never cramped or anything, and then mid-teen years it became horrible and irregular with one cycle lasting 28 days (haha, now that proved how much my fiance' loves me that he didn't run screaming).
I feel your pain! When I was 17, I was mid-C, now I am 20 and heading to D. I thought they stopped growing after teen years!
Haha! True. Now I can't go braless, and feel weird if I do. Funny how perspectives change, isn't it?
Kai, (wow this is kinda weird joining THIS conversation).
M'kay. Try to forget for a minute that I'm a man who will never experience this in his life. Yeah, I know you hate me already.
Periods or menopause, you're going to face them. Much as it sucks to go through that every month (and I honestly DO feel for you), enjoy your youth. Because one day through all the hot flashes when you're in your fifties, you'll look back on these days. And, just perhaps, you'll want them back again.
B
"Sometimes the heart isn't deep enough for differences to be buried."
-Barry O'Shea
"If so, mine are stunted and sadly untalented."
I hear ya sister. I tried to train mine to do tricks. You know, roll over... play dead... fetch....
When they aren't hiding in my armpits, they refuse to let me jump rope. Spoilsports.
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