Ta Da! I am back, and better than ever...okay, maybe not.

I know, I know...I have been gone for a really, really, really long time and I hadn't realized just how long until a friend (yeah, you, Christina!) pointed out how she missed my writing. You know what? I have missed it too. A lot. So I most likely have lost the interest of whoever read this thing, but who cares? I am starting anew.

So pretty much here's my year (2009) in review:

1. I found my niche.
2. I got my dream job working at an at-risk youth shelter.
3. I lost 165 lbs (i.e. ending things with my now-ex who I finally realized was never going to treat me better, make me happier, or love me more).
4. Got my priorities straight.
5. Had a not-so midlife crisis.
6. Rediscovered my creativity, motivation, inspiration, and passion.
7. Found happiness within myself.
8. Started dating.
9. Started writing again, and now have countless novel projects, but am focusing on just one :)
10. Had the most incredible summer.
11. Realized who my true friends are.
12. Made some mistakes.
13. Learned from them.
14. Grew up a little, but not too much.
15. Met some incredible people.
16. Learned to cook a little more.
17. Went cliff jumping, to concerts, and had countless adventures with B and my other friends.
18. Made some self-discoveries.
19. Worked on improving my relationship with God.
20. Overcame my fears, but not the fears of spiders, or Lady GaGa...understandably.
21. Met the most amazing person who quickly became my best friend, ACL.
21. Fell truly, deeply in love with ACL.
22. Took my first vacation in years--5 1/2 incredible days with ACL.
23. Passed a math class! And let me tell you, that's like me syaing I got accepted to Harvard. I well, and truly, suck at math, so except the four horsemen and rain of fire anyday now...
24. Got pulled over...twice. Oops!
25. Taught B to drive, and what a harrowing experience that was...
26. Made a roller coaster out of a gravel road...Don't ask, haha.
27. Danced in the rain, witnessed countless sunsets, walked in the forests, strolled on the beach, gazed at the stars, admired the moon, watched a meteor shower...Appreciated life.
28. Truly lived.
29. Got really sick, and ended up in the ER :(

It was a crazy, beautiful, incredible year and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Here's 2010 so far...

1. Was sick over New Year's, but ACL and I talked until after the ball dropped :)
2. My grandmother passed away.
3. I moved to NC abruptly three days later to be with ACL, and hopefully put to rest my family issues.
4. Apparently that didn't work since my parents reported me as missing, and B won't talk to me.
5. Went to the beach a few times.
6. Rode my first motorcycle and dirtbike with ACL.
7. Went to my first drag race.
8. Took up painting again.
9. Worked harder on my novel.
10. Went to an Army retirement ceremony.
11. Watched paratroopers (including ACL's dad) jump from airplanes.
12. Got engaged :)

So now that we've caught up, I am going to share some of my goals...

-I want to actually work out. Yeah, at a gym. And you though those four-letter words were bad...
-I want to find a job.
-I want to plan a wedding before August without going crazier.
-I want to finish my novel, or start sending chapters out to publishers.
-I want to reopen my Etsy shop, and start crafting again, and actually make some money (pocket change even!) doing something I like.
-I want to buy a Nikon d40, or perhaps the new generation, and do something with my photography.
-I want to actually keep up with this blog.

And that's just a start :)

Training Bras...

Today mom, B, and I took O clothes shopping. My ever-funny and frighteningly intelligent youngest sister bounced over to the wrack of "training bras,"* becoming the latest victim of our over-sexualized society. Okay, we all know the history of bras. That wacky Frenchman thought of yet another way to torture us females, because high heels obviously weren't enough. I must admit they have their benefits, but why would anyone with a training "cup" (it's a tiny 2" by 2" triangle that is not the least bit cupped)? What exactly are they keeping in place? And what the hell is a training bra, anyway? Do they teach the girls to do tricks? If so, mine are stunted and sadly untalented.
I don't understand girls who are excited, enthralled, and exuberant (yes, I exhausted my 'E' vocabulary with that) about certain developments. The first instantly means you are no longer "one of the guys," your IQ instantly goes down if they're any big than a "training cup," some people will try to have full conversations with them, and jumping jacks become your enemy. I mean who likes getting smacked in the face 200 times?
The second means Eve has an excuse to kick your ass every month, and if you don't like the torture devices commonly referred to as tampons, you have to go around wearing something that is about as comfortable as a diaper for a week. If that doesn't make you cringe, trying cramping, which is not only in the stomach region, mind you. Guys swear you have mood swings when they're just stupid enough to stand between you and the chocolate, or utter "PMS." Bah! Permissable Manslaughter.
I myself was the person who defined "tomboy." Sure I had long blonde hair past my waist (it darkened naturally), and occasionally played with Barbies, but that is beside the point. I was respected by the infamous Big Kids, and was wild...okay, stupid. I took any dare, even if it meant jumping in a field with an angry bull. Admittedly, not my brightest moment. How I made it to age 8 is beyond me, because I can think of at least nine times that I could have, possibly should have, died. I remember clearly when those damn changes started, I was furious, especially with mom. She fixed everything else, why couldn't she fix that? I eventually got used to the changes, and don't mind them so much now, expect the second one--I'll never get used to Eve's ass kicking, which puts Chuck Norris' infamous roundhouse to shame.

Disclaimer: I do understand that bust size is a touchy topic for many women, but this was not directed at you ladies, but more the 3 year olds wearing undergarments akin to things I might find at Victoria's Secret.

3 Years: Our Journey

May 6, 2009 marks three incredible years in which my fiance' and I have been together, but it also highlights the best years of my life (so far). In these years, not only have I shared some highly treasured moments with my mister from kissing in the rain to dancing in the moonlight, but I have truly lived, something I had been afraid of until Fox and our friends broke down the Great Wall of Kai.

I had a lot of baggage, familial, middle childhood, and most especially from my death at fifteen (a story for another time). I have accomplished many of my life goals, some I never thought possible. I also learned a great deal about myself, life and those I share it with. My mister has been among my most proficient instructors, teaching me such important lessons as "The best moments are those unplanned," and more vital ones such as the importance of accepting who you are.

We have had beautiful moments together, and we've had our share of ugly times as well. Even so, and even as painful as they can be, I see the latter as a chance to learn something new about ourselves about us. I love us as much as I love him. I love that we strengthen ourselves rather than weaken, build each other up instead of tear each other down, care about and for each other, and hold each others' dreams as our own. I love how he is willing to put me first, even at the cost of himself, and that I would do the same. I love that we cherish each others' happiness. So here's to the future!

1 Month Together:



6 Months Together:



1 Year Together:



1 Year, 5 Months (and nearly 6 years of friendship) Together: Engaged!



2 Years Together:




2 Years, 6 Months Together:



3 Years Together:

TO BE UPDATED =]

Mushy Couples or Lost Souls?

For many years I have observed the discomforting trend of changing one’s screen name to some derivative of their significant other. Some choose the classic GuyName’s Angel, GirlName’s Man, one of the thousand titles, or the joint effort of HisName & HerName complete with not-so-cutesy hearts. Anytime I have witnessed these changes, I have had to swallow the bile rising in my throat from the sheer mushiness of it all…Then today my perspective changed when I noticed the once-level-headed, should-have-been-deleted-years-ago contact on my MSN Instant Messenger had changed her name to “David’s Girl.” I no longer saw it as the disgusting couple-y-ness of yesteryear, but a forfeiture of one’s identity.

I am Kaitlin H. It is the name that was stamped on my birth certificate, the name I have born with all my life--spare a short stint as “Jasmine” after the Disney release of “Aladdin”--and that did not change when I started dating Fox, my now-fiance. The thought never even crossed my mind to change my screen names to Fox’s Sweetheart. In fact, if it did, I think we both would have shuddered until our teeth rattled down our throats.

Why has society, and the media, mind-screwed people into believing love is shedding who you are for a life of minivans and matching sweater vests? Fox and I embrace our differences, support individuality, yet love each other deeply, and have a strong relationship, make a good team. It is possible to be “one” without losing who you are, it just takes more work, and it's important to remember: The similarities might be what first bonded us, but it is the differences that keep it interesting.

So...I will remain Kaitlin, Kai, or whatever derivative of my name without the hearts and love-dovey titles.