My Family and Revelations

Disclaimer: I will never in this blog talk about or reveal personal problems in my relationship. However, if it is relevant to a lesson, I will touch on the surface of it, and provide what was learned. I would feel anything more than that would be a betrayal to him, and to us both.

I won’t lie…Fox and I have been having serious problems lately, so serious that we have come very close to ending things more than once (and that is something that has never occurred in 3 years we have been together), and are taking things slow with the wedding that is just under four months away. Our central issue is that he worries he won’t be able to make me happy, and while he has his insensitive side, and we have our differences, I have never met a more thoughtful person, or anyone who suits me nearly so well. He genuinely makes my happiness and wellbeing paramount, and looks out for me before anyone else, including himself. While his doubts have planted seeds, I have been working on things with him. I have known him since I was 14, been friends with him since I was 15, in love with him since I was 16, dating him since I was 17, and engaged to him since I was 18 so he has always been a part of my life, an integral part of my life.
I have never believed in “the one,” or “one true love.” There may be just one person for some, but the human heart is capable of loving more than one person, even at the same time because there is not one kind of love. So sure maybe he’s right and there is someone else out there for me, but I chose him. I never used to believe this, the eternal romantic I was, but the more you live the more you learn. Fox is my first deep, abiding love, and while there are elements to our relationship that aren’t perfect, we aren’t perfect either, and have many more positive elements.
The starter on my car went out, so I had to take it to the shop. His mom set it up with her mechanic and since Fox is the primary on the insurance, the key tag had both our surnames on it. I have to admit, I haven’t taken it off. I like looking at it, seeing both of our names…Then, today I was spending time with him at his parents’ house, and his brother, sister-in-law, sister, paternal grandmother, and great aunt came over for a cook out. I love his family-- well, maybe not his sister and sister-in-law so much, but they aren’t the easiest to get along with. His brother was talking about the “original P{insert family name}s” and everyone was laughing because the originals are, of course, dead. And then they started ticking off the Ps.
His Aunt Julia looked at me and smiled, “Kaitlin’s the ninth P.”
Everyone agreed.
I cannot put into words just how much that meant to me. They have always made me feel as part of the family since the beginning, and here they were openly counting me as part of the P family…I told Fox that while we’re still taking things slow, that it was then that I realized that I still wanted that, to be a part of his family. All the things have combined in the last few days to give me the answer I have been searching for: I don’t want to end things with him. While it’s true that he won’t always make me happy, it’s also true that I won’t always make him happy, and it really isn’t his responsibility to make sure I am incandescently happy every second of every hour of every day.

3 Years: Our Journey

May 6, 2009 marks three incredible years in which my fiance' and I have been together, but it also highlights the best years of my life (so far). In these years, not only have I shared some highly treasured moments with my mister from kissing in the rain to dancing in the moonlight, but I have truly lived, something I had been afraid of until Fox and our friends broke down the Great Wall of Kai.

I had a lot of baggage, familial, middle childhood, and most especially from my death at fifteen (a story for another time). I have accomplished many of my life goals, some I never thought possible. I also learned a great deal about myself, life and those I share it with. My mister has been among my most proficient instructors, teaching me such important lessons as "The best moments are those unplanned," and more vital ones such as the importance of accepting who you are.

We have had beautiful moments together, and we've had our share of ugly times as well. Even so, and even as painful as they can be, I see the latter as a chance to learn something new about ourselves about us. I love us as much as I love him. I love that we strengthen ourselves rather than weaken, build each other up instead of tear each other down, care about and for each other, and hold each others' dreams as our own. I love how he is willing to put me first, even at the cost of himself, and that I would do the same. I love that we cherish each others' happiness. So here's to the future!

1 Month Together:



6 Months Together:



1 Year Together:



1 Year, 5 Months (and nearly 6 years of friendship) Together: Engaged!



2 Years Together:




2 Years, 6 Months Together:



3 Years Together:

TO BE UPDATED =]